The View From Drew

Sad to say, my first inanimate object that I befriended was my toilet.  I don't know what age I was, no more than four, I guess.  I was deathly afraid of the gurgling sounds it made and thought it would be better if I reached out and tried to be friends with it.  It didn't have a name, but I always thanked it for putting up with my shit.  (Not in those words, mind you.)  I kept this friendship up through the fourth grade until my brother made fun of me for talking to the toilet.